Tale Tues: Paper Bag Please…

…I’m hyperventilating. It’s the third day without a snow plow in sight.

In the long dark days after Super Sandy, we counted the days then too. Until we got our power back. Or could find an open gas station.

Guess what! This time, we have full tanks! And we didn’t lose power!

But we’ve lost our freedom –the reason we still have full tanks. Because we can’t drive anywhere.  Not even the supermarket.

We could starve.

I conjure an image of my techie-Apple-fanatical husband skinning a squirrel to roast. Well, maybe. He doesn’t like his children to go hungry, even to miss a cookie snack. But he would no doubt have to Google skinning squirrels first…. the image fades.

Never mind squirrels. The snow’s so deep, they’re trying to dig themselves out too. We might be reduced to cardinals.

Nibbling on roasted chickadees.

I’m disoriented. I run from window to window.

“Mom? What ya doing?” One son asks.

“Trying to find the front yard.” When you no longer have a road, front yards look like back yards.

“It’s that way, Mom,” Little Bro points. Then he looks confused. “Maybe it’s that way.”

We find a compass. The driveway I remember would be to the west…?

Ok, so I’m exaggerating. But my husband is literally losing it; he doesn’t like to miss work. Rather, his boss doesn’t like him to miss work. He’s fully dressed for work, his building ID lanyard around his neck. “Maybe it’s melted enough…” he contemplates, looking out at what is now rain. At the road. Which is still missing. He could be looking out at the back yard thinking it’s the front yard….

Either way. Sure. Maybe the snow in the road has melted to 27” from 28.” I don’t suggest he go measure because he might very well do so and try to drive away.

Bear with me. This could be a long tale. Because so much happens when nothing is happening at all. When things get old; after the third day of no power with Super Sandy, playing board games by candlelight got old. So now on this new third day has building igloos. Snowmen. Trying to sled down (what you think is) the road, only to sink:

And this is old:

Wet snowy snow-boots abandoned in the hall, along with stripped-down snow pants, melting mittens…. All which have to be put in the dryer just to be taken out again for the next sodden snowy escapade.

The first time out in the then new snow, our boys couldn’t wait! They bundled up in snow clothes and built their first igloo!

Now to pry their little fingers off computer mouses, to draw them out of Minecraft where they build vast under-ground block worlds (accessorized with even libraries), I have to shove them out the door.

They whine. “It’s cold.  We already built an igloo.”

Even the dog is sick of the snow. He’d rather stay in and chew on the snowy boots:

To get our boys off their favorite computer game, Minecraft, where they’ve been busy killing 1300 monsters, I resorted to all those Christmas presents barely unboxed. Science test tubes:

Origami:

A microscope under which they examined a piece of Mommy’s hair:

Baked cookies:

Until it was only dominoes that could keep them from being magnetically drawn back to the computer screens. We built a man with a bird on his head:

Don’t see it? Well, then you haven’t been snowed in long enough. Long enough to doze off on the dog:

Or if you’re the dog, to shred tissues:

So today it’s raining. I can no longer force the boys to go out and snow frolic; so I give up.

My husband is fed up and contemplating chewing on his toes.

But the boys are thrilled because they get free rein on Minecraft.  They call to each other from their separate hand-me-down old laptops from separate rooms. Big Bro found a Minecraft “swiftness” potion that makes him faster but not fast enough to escape some monster or zombie: “I’m going to die. I’m dead.”

“You are? Daaang it,” calls out Little Bro who today is a blacksmith making armor. “Oh wait I’m barely alive…. I’m going to die soon. Oops I died!”

“Dude, give me some food I’m going to die.”

“I only have bread.”

“I’m starving.”

Starving? Mommy’s ears perk up from blogging her Tues Tales. “You hungry?” Is it snack time already?

“No I’m just starving on Minecraft,” Little Bro says as if I’m an idiot. “But I still have some chickens.”

Chickens I’m told are “good” because if you left-click an egg, it shoots fire balls.

But even better, if you have chickens you won’t starve to death. When you have chickens you have “full hunger.” Which evidently means you’re not hungry. You’re hungry when your hunger level is low.

But the best evidently is to be a monster because you don’t get killed and you never starve to death.

I wish I were a monster. Or had a chicken.

But then it happened. This!

A snow plow emerged! My husband beat me to the picture (I circled him), plowing himself through knee-high drifts to get a good close-up shot; otherwise, no one on Facebook would believe we finally got dug out.

Sweet little chickadees, you’ve been spared.

Link up now with Old-Post Resurrection Hop! 


About Sandra

Author;editor of The Woven Tale Press at thewoventalepress.net; mother; weaver

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9 Responses to Tale Tues: Paper Bag Please…

  1. Great post!
    You won’t believe me, but one day, you’ll miss these days!
    When big bro, and little bro have flown the coop!
    Thanks for the memories! I smiled fondly all the way through the post…really!
    Mary

  2. Jenn says:

    I haven’t seen snow like the kind you’ve had since I was a kid. I guess I just haven’t lived in the right places. I also haven’t had to ever endure snow like that after a hurricane like Sandy. I feel for you–but eventually you should write a book about how to survive that type of weather back to back without losing your mind. Just an idea… LOL 🙂

    We had an ice storm in December of 2004. It knocked out power to our house for 5 days. It went out on the 22nd and didn’t get turned back on til the night of the 27th. We tried to tough it out in our home–but the temperature inside our home was 17 degrees with a fire place running and the room blocked off. Did I mention it was an ice storm? Took us 2 hours to go to the store 2 miles away– and when we got there the shelves were bare. We finally found a hotel to give us a room–but we had been on a waiting list for 2 days. Unfortunately the kids got really sick that Christmas Eve–and I was scrubbing the hotel room carpets after them 🙁 But the good news is Santa found the hotel and Christmas still came. Yet it didn’t feel very Christmassy.

    We stayed for 2 nights and one at my cousins and finally the power came on and we got to go home–to a very cold house that took 2 days to unthaw. I think the worst part about that was that it ended up being one of the worst Christmases ever–because of everyone getting sick (myself the day we got home) and not being able to stay home, etc.
    And I’m sure that didn’t compare to what you’ve been through with two storms back to back–so I’m really feeling for you–but YAY you got plowed out!! 😀

    Cheers, Jenn

    • Sandra says:

      oh, that is a truly (literally?) chilling story, Jenn. We lost power with sandy for 10 days and the temps did drop but not that bad. And we do have a wood burning stove. But we may be facing some kind of ice storm this week so that is the fear now, of losing power in cold temps!

  3. Tea says:

    I LOVE Minecraft! I play it on the xBox, and am not as good as I’m thinking your boys are, but it’s a great game for non-gamers because there’s no specific goal, and I succeed only at doing my own thing. (Also, if you decide to give it a whirl, you can turn the monsters off and just build things. That’s what I do)
    We have, sadly, missed out on all of this year’s storms… we’re prepared for them here, and typically get way more snow and crap weather than we have been, so I’m a little jealous that you’ve been snowed in. Then I remember we have five children and shudder while thanking the heavens there’ve been no snow days.

    • Sandra says:

      lol that’s great you love minecraft. I maybe would too if I wasn’t so sick of it; it’s extremely hard to pry my boys away from it. I worry their circulation will stop from sitting so long. So need to throw them out in the snow again today as again no school. As to snow days, we used them all up with hurricane Sandy, over a week. they may just have school all summer if this keeps up. And you have FIVE? You saint, you…

  4. I give thanks to whatever powers that be that I have never lived where that much snow falls! My mother taught one year near Cleveland while I was in grad school at Cornell. It was a really mild winter in Ithaca that year, thank goodness, but my mother said she had never walked over that many humps of snow in her life. And one winter when I was maybe 10 we were in the Lower Rio Grande Valley of Texas – way down there – and we had an ice storm! You’ve never lived until you’ve seen palm trees covered in ice! The apartment where we were living had very little insulation and we just about froze to death. On top of it all we both had horrible cases of the flu. That’s one experience of my life I’d just as soon forget!

  5. Elisa says:

    We’ve had such crazy snow this year. It’s wild, but fun in a way too 🙂

  6. Desi says:

    Helloooo, snowplow! Hooray for you! I live in a northern city, so heavy snowfalls really aren’t that big of a deal. My city spends a few million dollars a year on plows and sanding trucks, and there are always crews out keeping the power on and the phones working. I’m grateful. Because if I had to be stuck inside with my family for days at a time, listening to my husband play Halo and my kids walkie-talkies and LeapPads beep and blip all bloody day? Nope. Couldn’t handle it. You are a rockstar.

    • Sandra says:

      lol. I like the image of myself as a “rockstar.” and our imge of beeping blipping LeapPads. Been there, done that. Now it was on to Nintendo DS and Minecraft.

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