Tale Tues: It’s My Birthday and I Can Cryyyyy if I Want to…

Guess what. It’s my birthday and I’m only a half-decade old.

I’m five!

I’d be a half-century old, if I didn’t ditch the big 0 that was nipping annoyingly at the 5’s heels and toss it out to sea.

Don’t worry. Ditched zeros are not balloons that choke dolphins. They’re biodegrable!

Possibly even edible! So if stray zero washes ashore, I assure you the gulls will pick it clean as a mussel shell or crab legs.

If you lost the big 0 that is/was attached to your own 50, it’s yours.

Take it.

Frame your favorite infant picture in it. Baby (yours, your child’s, your grandchild’s) will look cute in an 0.

Or use it to sponge your counters. Ditched zeros are tremendously absorbent. Better than Bounty!

Otherwise, since I turn five today, I want lots of presents. Toys!! New outfits for my beloved baby doll that has been lying in a heap on my closet shelf for forty odd years:

A new dining room set for my doll house which I would still play with, if my boys hadn’t turn it into a superhero cave when they were five:

And I want to play Musical Chairs. Yes. Musical chairs. No Wii for me.

“But it’s the beginning of a new decade. That’s how you have to look at it,” my husband soothes. He’s more used to how the 50 fits, two years now into his own “new” decade.

Mine doesn’t fit right. Not yet. It feels too tight in all the wrong places like a too-small bathing suit. Like high heels I gave up wearing even before my senior prom (which I ditched anyway for Studio 54. You know, disco balls?).

Although I’m sure I’ll grow into it. This “new” decade. As I’ve already had to resort to the radical, of trying to reverse my age with Radical Age Reversal…

…so I won’t look as lined and dumpy as my son’s clay portrait of me, as I actually might feel on some dumpy days:

Until the too-tight suit or heels fit just right, stretch in just the perfect places to feel as comfy as worn underwear or old slippers, I’ll blow bubbles. Toss my Liddle Kiddie (remember those?Apple Blossom, she’s on Etsy!) dolls….

…into the lake in summer to see if the sunfish will nip their toes. Transform my Barbie camper into a rescue unit for the rubber blue kitties and red puppies my pediatrician used to give me every time I got a shot.  I’ll even have a tantrum or two, slam my bedroom door and play David Soul’s Bird on a Wire on my record player. (Oh sorry, leaping ahead to the terrible teens.)

Really, the best way to feel young on your birthday is to spend it with someone literally, or almost literally, twice your age: my mother at 94.

Because when I whine to her about how I’m getting “old” she will laugh her almost century-old head off, and squeal, “Honey, you’re just a kid!”

Exactly. I’m a mere fun-loving fret-free (lol!) fifty.

(Who was due for a bloglift, if not a face one. At midlife I refuse to go plaid and staid.  I went young, vibrant and purplish instead! )




About Sandra

Author;editor of The Woven Tale Press at thewoventalepress.net; mother; weaver
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31 Responses to Tale Tues: It’s My Birthday and I Can Cryyyyy if I Want to…

  1. The big 50 seemed to just drain all of the life out of me. Took me around 3 years to take part of it back.

  2. Deepika says:

    Happy happy birthday Sandra…………
    Hugs and lots of love..
    Keep writing 🙂

  3. Amy Morgan says:

    Love your humorous approach as always Sandra. I’m two weeks into my 50th now and it feels good. It’s like someone opened the gate and I feel a freedom I’ve never felt before. You’ll settle in to this – the suit and shoes will relax. If they don’t, trade them in for a sweatsuit and a pair of slippers. That’s the beauty of 50 – you can do what you want! 🙂 And I love the new look for the blog. It’s lovely – like you!

  4. On your 29th birthday I was giving birth to my beautiful daughter. You were born on a good day. Happy birthday, Sandra. I turn 50 in a month and one day and I’m already over it. 😀

  5. Barbra says:

    50? Phew, you are a kid and about to enter a great chapter of your life. Happy Day!

  6. Live life, be free, explore the world! Happy Birthday!!


  7. Kathy says:

    That is one birthday I am not looking forward to! Hope you have an amazing birthday Sandra!


  8. Nicole says:

    Wishing you a joyful birthday! While I’m not quite there yet myself (I’ll be 48 end of the month) I still feel old, a lot. Hope the (nothing but a) number feels more comfortable soon!

  9. aunt mary says:

    Dear Sandra ,what a lovely blog you have .
    I just loved your post ,going to add your blog in my reading list.

  10. aunt mary says:

    Sorry I am on blogger.com and not on Linkyfollowers.com…..I would love to follow your blog through google friend connect 🙂

    • Sandra says:

      I know, I miss good friend connect to where I”d racked up a lot of followers. Though I’d say most were “ill follow you, if you follow me.” You can follow me by liking my facebook page? There’s a link for that on the sidebar….

  11. I’m with your mother on this one! LOL! Fifty didn’t faze me a bit, nor 60 for that matter. Now, 70 – that’s when I suddenly realized that if my family history is any indication, I probably didn’t have more that 15-20 years left, and do you know how fast 15-20 years go by? So that’s when I realized that I’d better do something about publishing if I didn’t want my writing to die with me.
    I just wish I was 50 again, only without the responsibilities I had at that time. So enjoy your youth, Sandra!

  12. kgwaite says:

    Happy birthday! Chasing close on your heels. I’m sorry. But the clay portrait made me laugh out loud. Have a great day.

  13. Loretta says:

    Happy Birthday!
    Smiled the whole time while I was reading

  14. Happy 5th Birthday Sandra! And 150 happy returns!
    The way I look at it (from “5” plus seven birthdays) is this:
    I plan to live to be 100, and….
    I already know how to walk and talk, I have my license, I got through high school (and they were happy years!), I have my degrees, I’ve had my children, I had a loving long-term (30 year) marriage, I’ve acquired more than enough stuff to last me into the next century. So much work behind me!
    So the next 50? A cake walk!
    Best wishes and keep smiling, Mary

  15. hahaha – You just keep on kicking every inch of the way. I have a tiny doll and some stuffed animals on a shelf right by my bed, do play with your toys to your heart’s content. You’ve earned it. Happy birthday.

    • Sandra says:

      Love my toys. In fact, kids now outgrow theirs so much sooner thanks to the electronics that I threaten to steal away all my boys toys. Legos, super heros (my barbies never had boyfriends…)

  16. Dear 5 year old – you’re looking lovely – as is your purple blog. I’m certain with your wonderful sense of humour that the ‘0’ will only be all of us smiling at your writing! Wishing you a wonderful, creative decade ahead! ♥

  17. Desi says:

    New toys ARE the awesome-est, it’s true. 🙂 Happy Birthday!

  18. Nikki says:

    I am 5 years shy of 50, and although I normally refuse to count, I appreciate your post as I believe that the Big 5-0 may be a stumbling block! Will remember this then!

    • Sandra says:

      hi Nikki. Yes it feels like a huge “stumbling block” at the moment. Didn’t help that today I went for my annual eye exam and at 50 you have to start checking for cataracts etc. Cataracts!!!

  19. Tale Tues: It’s My Birthday and I Can Cryyyyy if I Want to…: http://t.co/nRO6yJSn

  20. Debbie says:

    Well, (belated) Happy Birthday! I just turned 58 and if you think 50 is bad………;-)
    Anyway, I always say you should celebrate the DAY and forget about the YEAR.
    I like the new look of your blog. Purple is for passion. 🙂

  21. Laurie says:

    “Doesn’t fit right…” Great way to put it! Wish I’d thought of it. haha Doesn’t fit right indeed. My Pinterest is filled with childhood memories too. I find toys there that I forgot I had. Fifty is rough, really rough.

    • Sandra says:

      It is rough, Laurie. I guess depending where you are in what you’re doing. I have a 7 and 9 year old so do wish I’d had them earlier than 40 and 42. Just how it worked out. Otherwise, maybe turning 50 would feel like I was turning over a new leaf. 40 did that:)

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