Tale Tues: I’m Going Blind

I can’t see.

When you’re teetering (wobbling, reeling?) on the brink of 50, you go blind!

Well, not blind but my near-sightedness (things close up, right? ingredients? Clipping dog nails?) seems suddenly to have waned (we won’t discuss my far-sightedness which has been waning since my first pair of blue plastic 70’s frames).

I’m a chicken cocking, crooking and craning its head this way and that – trying to crook at just the right angle to see what the heck I’m typing. I crane my head up to peer down through my progressive lenses, then down to look up juuuuust a biiiit…and these words are still blurry.

I made the mistake of mentioning this middle-aged onslaught of visual reading impairment to my husband. Who, if I get mere sniffles, tells me to go see my doctor for nose spray. Who is always at me about my wellness visits (they’re free under our insurance!).

My husband hates his job with every follicle on his body and rightly so, but he is proud of our great health insurance and we are indeed lucky. And I do follow up on my wellness visits. To find out just that. That I am well.

But I’m lazy about the eye stuff. As long as I can see, that is…

“You’re covered. I told you back in November, get new glasses,” he scolded.

Well, that’s true. He did tell me. But I didn’t notice I was going blind then.

And it’s only every other year that we’re covered for new glasses. My two years since this last pair isn’t up until this May.

But that was before we realized we’d tucked away too much money into our tax-free flexible spending account for out-of-pocket medical fees. So by November, Hubby was telling me “Get new frames, for Christ’s sake. Get whatever frames you want.” We had to spend that cash by the end of 2012 or poof! It would be gone!

I said no, I was fine, that that was a stupid way to go blow something like $800, just  on new frames. I mean, really! So I didn’t.

Hubby did instead.

One night, he came home with a brand new look. The bland wire flexible frames (that were supposed to withstand our boys monkeying with them but didn’t) look was replaced with an entirely new one. How should I say? Studious? Different.

I was staring at the thick-plastic-black-rectangular-framed new look. And he said part of what I was thinking: “They told me it’s a new look.”

Clearly he wasn’t really the one to pick them out. It was those too-helpful eye technicians who want you to choose from three frames they pull off the mind-and-eye-boggling array of racks upon frame racks, so they can taxi you out the door to move on to the next overly-deliberating-can’t-make-up his-mind customer.

But I also was staring because I was stunned by the fact that he’d gone out and gotten new glasses.

“You just got a pair last year.” His two years wasn’t up yet either!

“I know. But I went for my annual exam and my prescription changed.”

He meant it was tweaked. He could still see.

What he really meant was, he needed to use up the flexible spending account. “You spent $800 on glasses?”

We squabbled. He defended his new look with the truth, that the $800 also included the exam, blah, blah, blah. And he reminded me that he had told me to go out and get the glasses, and when I didn’t he decided to. “Otherwise we’d just lose the money.” Gone!

Which would have been true – if the big O didn’t suddenly materialize. All you parents, you know: Ortho!! Yes! Big Bro needed an expander! That nasty wire thing that is now plastered to the top of the mouth so he talks like a duck!

And yes, wiring-of-teeth-stuff easily mounts up, making that $800 seem like pennies!

Now it’s the new year and we have a new fully-tanked flexible spending account – that, with our new embarkment into the land of ortho, is already well on its way to empty.

Still. I have an appointment for right after my birthday to get new glasses. Consider it a birthday present to myself. I”m just not so sure I will fall for a new “look.” I rather like the “old” me.

….Or maybe they just need cleaning.

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About Sandra

Author;editor of The Woven Tale Press at thewoventalepress.net; mother; weaver

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24 Responses to Tale Tues: I’m Going Blind

  1. I had to laugh at this one. I am so fussy about my eyes and at the moment one eye has to have laser to take a new blur out of my artificial lens (I had cataracts removed). Fortunately, I live in Canada where we have health care that will cover it since it’s not considered cosmetic. Meanwhile half my world is a blur. Now go get those new glasses. You’ll be glad you did.

    • Sandra says:

      oh, dear Yvonne. And yes, I wish I lived in Canada. Then maybe my husband could chance quitting his job which is killing hi anyway. But then we’d lose our benefits and with two kids can’t do that. Nor with 2 parents in their 50s.

  2. Thanks for the humor this morning, Sandra. I chuckled through the entire post. I’ll be back to check your blog again.

    BTW:
    Found you on G+ in My Blogworld Forum.

    Chris

  3. Jenn says:

    OMG!! Sandra, this so speaks to me. I’ve not had good near-sighted vision since my 20’s, I am now 400/20– but I always had my far-sightedness going for me–you know I could read that tiny two font print on the back of some crazy label– until about a week ago. I woke up one day, my eyes felt tired, heavy, and twitchy. I realized I couldn’t see the fine print any more. HELP! SO I went to Walmart and bought a 5.99 reading glasses. Man I can see again. Sort of. Hoping my doc will straighten it out when I can go back again in July.

    What is next– my hearing????

    • Sandra says:

      wait, do I have them mixed up? isn’t near sighted when you can see things near and far things far? My problem is yours I can’t read the labels. Maybe I need to edit this!

      • Jenn says:

        It confused me for years. Farsighted means you can see far away and not close up (reading glasses). Near sighted means you can see close up but not far away.

        Now I can’t see either– that must make me blind!!! LOLOL!

  4. No, you’re not going blind! You simply get to a point with the presbyopia (middle-aged farsightedness) where the eyes won’t adjust to the middle distance that you need for your computer. You need a separate pair of computer glasses. I could tell you a long story about my eyes, but it would be too lengthy for a comment and too boring besides. Suffice it to say that I use three pairs of glasses – one for long distance, driving, and reading; one without bifocals for watching TV so I can lean my head back in the recliner without looking through the bifocals; and one strictly for the computer (middle distance plus bifocal so I can see the keyboard, although it isn’t really right for the keyboard, so I’m always hitting the wrong keys). Extreme nearsightedness like mine is great when you’re young and you can see everything close up like it was magnified, but it’s the pits when you start getting older.

    • Sandra says:

      Oh, GOD, you mean I need another set of glasses just to work on the computer?? Ugh!

      • Oh, come on, it’s not that bad! You could get trifocals, but they won’t work with my extreme degree of nearsightedness. And then you’re always trying to adjust the position of your head to see through the right portion of the lens. Just keep your computer glasses with the computer (my optician gave me some nice eyeglass cases that stand upright) and switch off when you sit down to work. Good luck! 🙂

        • Sandra says:

          Trifocals? Now you’re going to tell me there are quadruplefocals…..

          • LOL Well, I never heard of quadruplefocals, but maybe so! But, seriously, I haven’t heard anything about trifocals for a long time. Maybe they don’t make them any longer. We had a good family friend who swore by them. They have a narrower band between the main glasses and the bifocal that is a different prescription, gauged, for example, for the arm’s-length distance you need for a computer screen.

  5. Are you guys going to keep this up, because it’s very entertaining?!

  6. TK says:

    Hi! This reminds me of how my husband meticulously cleans his glasses every morning while I don’t touch them until the vision gets cloudy!

  7. Maybe I’ll put the subject of my vision problems on my potential-blog-post list!

  8. Anonymous says:

    As a glass wearer myself I can understand how we never want to get new glasses. Our vision is fine we can see even if it’s a little fuzzy at times. But for having an $800 amount to spend on them I’d be charging to the eye doctor.

  9. Too funny. Us woman are the known spenders/ shoppers and yet there are a few of us who cherish money over necessities. When the mood is right you’ll buy what you need and rejoice knowing you waited for just the right moment to enjoy and need them the most.

    Until then I hope you continue to be able to see so you can keep on writing!

    Thanks for reading,

    Sarah Butland
    author of Arm Farm, Brain Tales and Sending You Sammy

  10. I’m in your age group and I need a new prescription for glasses. Not looking forward to it — reminds me that I’m getting older.

    I may finally get progressive lenses.

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