This week’s Trifecta word, survive, with the 3rd definition: 3: to continue to function or prosper despite : withstand <they survived many hardships>
She would watch and wait out of respect for her mother’s own efforts; as her mother fumbled, struggling to zip up her coat. Or to slip her arthritic feet into her shoes without her daughter having to help.
But this said daughter was not a patient person. She especially wasn’t patient when they were late for her mother’s doctor appointments. The clock was ticking. Her mother decides to change to another shirt. Her nagging daughter would say no, they had to go. Then she would take the shoehorn herself to navigate the arthritic feet into the shoes. She would zip up her mother’s coat.
And gripping the car wheel as she raced through yellow lights to get to those appointments –to arrive within the allotted 10-15 minute allowance for lateness – she would be fixated on that impatience, mulling it like some rock her new pup would mouth, reluctant to spit it out.
Because the mulling, mouthing, of a rock was easier than what she should be fixating on: her own survival. How she was going to survive that day, when it would all be over. When her mother would breathe her last breath, maybe on one last lethal fall because she would forget to use her walker.
How would she survive that? Facing that sudden calm of that loss. Standing alone out at the end of some dock. When an early morning mist would just be lifting from a pond still as glass.